I sometimes feel that I don't feel anything at all. Odd as it may seem for an idealistic person like me. I do feel numb at times with the things going on around me. Maybe it's because of my fear to go against the current or speak my mind that I just do nothing at all, and to do that I desensitize myself of the things that make me tick. I just want to conform and just live life like everyone else. Be normal. It becomes tiring to be extraordinary or at least hope to be one every waking day.
I've have been watching movies I missed ever since I got introduced to the world of downloading torrents last week. Yes, just last week. I watched Dead Poets Society yesterday and Garden State just now. DPS talks to about how we should suck the marrow of life but not choke on it. Carpe Diem. Garden State proposes a more melancholy approach toward the same issue. I've always wondered why people rave about this movie so I download it to see for myself. It's speaks to the broken-ness in all of us. Specially us who are in our quarter-lives. Lost and numb in the world. It's so tragic how we can allow ourselves to not feel at all. why? Because we're tired of battling through life. The infinite abyss (reference from GS). This metaphor about our lives is what life is all about. And what we plan to do with it. Will you discover it and see it unfold or just let it lay there in its darkness. These movies has reminded me about how idealistic and how tired I am at the same time to chase my dreams making me go for it even more. Why, because i choose life and all the surprises hurts and quirks it brings. I am actually scared to be found empty inside and let the lithium (another GS reference) take over my system.
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