The fight is over

I haven't talked about it, really. For the longest time I kept this to myself. I think I got used to it. Keeping this in secret.

I have finally accepted it. It's over between us. No words from your end. It's okay. Maybe, you just don't want to deal with it now, or ever. Come to think of it, this thing has been going on for half a decade. At least now I am more at peace with everything. I have given what I can. I know I can give more. Really. But I know I gave what I can with what was given. Fair enough.

I am more sad with what has happened, though. I thought we could stick through this. Weather this. I thought wrong. What we have wasn't as strong as I though we had. Really, the saddest part of everything that has happened was to realize this.

Yes, maybe I am still in denial. I am still hoping things will turn out between us. By some twist of fate you realize that we could be together. Or, maybe it's just wasn't meant to be. It's your call.

As the song goes. I know you'll meet someone better, would you still think of me? If he would hold you like I did, would you run back to me? Yes I know these things shall pass. Gave all this time still we couldn't last.

Call me stupid for feeling as if I came from this "make believe" relationship. It just feels that way. Because when you love, we're allowed to be crazy sometimes. Because with crazy, we get the courage to leap, to risk, and to lay it all out.

I will surely miss this.

No regrets.

Go Rafa the Spaniard!

Just started watching Wimbledon tennis last year when I was in Bangladesh. That time Nadal lost to Federrer. This year he wins! Yesss!!! Idol!

He's stronger, faster and more mature. He has improved a lot on his mental game. Lesser wedgy picks too! Hahahaha.

More here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/tennis/7492502.stm

One Big Fight

Loved the game. Go Ateneo!

I missed singing the La Salle Alma Matter Song.

Missing the life I left in Manila

I think I can do so much more when I'm back in Manila. I'm missing out on a lot of things. I miss weeknight gimmicks, spending more time on OrgForward, helping NLS with things that do not require my SAP skills.

My non-existent love life has been put on hold. When will it ever start?

I don't like this anymore. I'm really tired. This is definitley taking a toll on my life. I have again proved to myself that I am a city boy.

* I understand the circumstances that surround me (all of us) staying in Laguna. No worries.

A birthday message

I went to my friend K's birthday celebration the other night. There was a part in her party that friends would give K a birthday message. I liked the message of one of her friends. She said, even though they (K and her) have changed as persons they will never change as friends. Now isn't that genuinely sweet?

Now, you want to work here?

"Yang flew solo, you should be celebrating because that means your doing your job, teaching her how to save a life.

Residents are like puppies, eager and enthusiastic, and you need to learn how to teach without crushing their spirit.

Now, you want to work here? With my residents? Then, you need to do better. You need to be a better teacher."

Chief Richard Webber to Erika Hahn - Grey's Anatomy

In our company seniors are expected to teach the junior consultants. Expected. This office culture makes us stand out among other IT companies out there. The typical consultants would fend for himself in this skill-selfish industry. Its funny how the typical would operate as a unit when in fact SAP is all about integration.

Not for us. We, at least how I see it to be, intentionally go against the norm and asks 'what if we do it differently?' We dare to go against what is expected. Not because we just want to be different. Because we feel that this is the right thing to do. Why be selfish?

As a person who sees the value of mentoring, I love this line from the Chief. I hope this is lived out to the full here at Netlogic.

Down the halls

Passed by Ateneo yesteday. Lucky me, I caught some students preparing OrSem. I forgot that it was OrSem season. That means TNT training season too. I saw TNTs in groups going around practicing for the campus tours. I miss college. And I realized how old I was because I don't recognize anyone from TNT. I was watching from afar and to no avail, I didn't recognize anyone. No one recognized me either. Thinking, 'hey! I was a TNT too you know?!' Hahaha. 'TNT core pa!'. It's all good. Hahaha.

I also passed our bench at Kostka. memories. It was so nice to visit. I suppose I visit Ateneo more regularly than the average alumni. Even so, Ateneo never fails to recharge me. I think the Jesuits put something in the trees.

Someday soon I'll teach there.